4 April is near the corner now. It is the common memorial day remembering relative who had paused away for the Chinese all over the world. Many people gathered in the cemetery to pay their deep respect and gratitude to their loved one.
This day, i always will take a break and keep my space to remember my parent who passed away when i was a teenager. Remembering what they had taught us.
Infect, i was only able to spend with them only 18-20 years before they passed away. Too short indeed, if compared with all my four elder sisters who managed to live with them for a longer period of time due to my age gap with them..
Regardless of this short spam of time we could spent together, they infect had planted many good values and influences on me, that later i realized that it was indeed a very precious one.
This influence was later make me realized that it was the best “in heritage” that they had given to me. Especially, the value of humanity, the value of social awareness, the openness and apperception of other ethnic groups, and also the gender role.
My farther. Lee Say Thong, who born in Hainan Island, China in the year 1920, the first son of the landlord and intellectual background family.
Due to the Japanese occupation and war erupted in China, he and family had to leave their homeland behind and searched new life in Malaya. My father was not able to finish his study in the university and had to work all types of jobs in Malaya in order for surviving.
When i was young kid, my father who was running his small business in Kota Tinggi, Johor. Among our family friends and also helper to my father, there was an old Indian man, that i used to call him “Thamby”. He seems to be migrated from India to here, stayed alone in a rented room. Almost everyday, my father will ask me to send some food for him. Thamby was so happy and always smile to me. This infect the first lesson of humanity, kindness and generosity seeds that my father planted in me.
Due to my father education background, i guess he was very much move and concern on whatever happening in China.
Including the habits of reading newspapers and TV news to keep as his daily must to do routine. When i was young, kid i was the one always sticked next to him followed all the social political news happening all over the world and started debating with him. One point he told me, you got to study hard and become the lawyer when you grew up. It was a great inspiration for me when my father told me this. However, he passed away after a week i finally able as the only daughter among her five daughters that able to enter the university. Deep in my heart, I know this was my father’s dream that wanting me to do something for the society. That’s why when i was young, even the economy situation in our home was not ever stable and good, he will never say no whenever i wanted to buy any types of books. Hence, i was able infect had able to read many critical social critics books and all types of literatures all over the world, even when i was in teenager time. He never restricted me to act like any girl should be as the stereotype gender role and even allowing me just to be myself.
My father was infect a feminist, intellectual and also humanist that live as common lay person in a small town.
Later i was told that infect he was forced to be sent to Malaya by my grandfather from China, in order to stop him involving in the save nation anti Japanese war activism. Till the day he passed away, my father was not able to afford even to go back to his homeland in China. I think this was his greatest regret in his life and also for all of my sisters and me.
My mother, Chua Chui Qeuk, who born in Johor Bahru, Johor was an typical working class lady who was the elder daughter in the family. She had to take care all of her young siblings’ and could not finish even her primary education
However, she was indeed a very strong woman who smart enough that able to become the mid wife/nurse working in the government own hospital.
Her strong character had indeed shaped all of us, especially to the five daughters. Even though ,she was not highly educated, she was a very kind heart person, regardless of her tough personality. Same as my father, the seeds of humanity, multi culturalism value and also the non stereotype gender role in me now again was planted by my mother.
My mother had the very strong sympathy on women who was abandoned by their partner and living in poor.
As she was the mid wife working in the hospital, almost everyday, she would meet some women who were left behind by their partner and delivered the baby alone, had no one visited them, no food, no money and extra clothes. Whenever she encountered such women, we all will be asked to cook special food for these women who need extra care after delivered baby. These usually the busiest time for us at home, collecting clothes and cooking, even though we also have not much money to spend for household.
This simple act of kindness and generosity of my mother was something i could not forgot till today. Maybe this is why later whenever I saw poor single mother who had to live life alone, I will feel deeply for them
So, both my parent was able to educate us something in our life through their own simple daily practices.
You can be kind and generosity, even you infect had little material items in life to share with others , yet your heart sincerely was always the most important one.
Later, when i entered university, i realized these foundation that my parent built on me had given me a strong foundation to be able be very fast to have deep empathy feelings for the underprivileged , firm in my beliefs, and activism involvement, especially to against all type of racism and injustices.
I felt fortunately that till today, I had never surrendered to any racism mentality and actions, especially in Malaysia which is the most dominant value deep rooted within its people.
Again, this was something related to my parent’s attitude of treating all races as the same, equally and not allowing themselves to inherit the narrow racism mentality. Maybe, this was due to our home living within the Malay surrounding government quarters, all my close majority neighbors, childhood friends and parents friends were mostly Malay , India and the few was Chinese.
From my young age, we celebrated all the festivals together. My mother even had to ask some one to cook all the halal Muslim and India food at home in order all the neighbors , coworkers and friends can come to celebrate the Chinese New year with us.
However, after much later that I realized that my experience was indeed a rare one, compared to my other Chinese friends. Later I realized that I was infect not familiar with those traditional foods served in the Chinese New Year in my Chinese friends homes
Today, i realized that this childhood experience infect make me able to appreciate what is the true multi culturalism and can be in our society. It is to start with the deep and sincere love and appreciation to other cultural and religions, accepting and rejoice the differences we have.
My deep exposure to Malay culture and religion had built a very strong beliefs in me that infect the Malay culture and Islam is very beautiful one.
Many wrong perceptions deep rooted among the people of different religions and ethic groups were infect due to the bad racial politics propagated in our country,
Actually, in one point of my life, i was loss for sometimes when i was studying in local university, as i had to experience strong racism culture inside campus. This horrible experience was infect later pushed me to work on social justice issue after realizing the real root causes that created racism/prejudices among ethnic groups within our people in this nation. I think, if i had never live and enjoyed my childhood and teenager life in such living surrounding , i will not be able to apprehend the truth meaning and beauties of multi culturalsimand and also realize the root causes of social injustices in Malaysia.
Therefore, i deepest thanks and gratitude go to my both parent who not only brought me to this world , and also able to learn good values from them, They are my first guru who taught me the humanity lesson in my life. Even though ,they were not the top leaders of any position in the society, yet, they had been contributed quietly to society by planting the seed of humanity, kindness, generosity and multi culturalism in their children life.
29 March 2009
Kuala Lumpur
My dearest father
My dearest mother
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