A friend of mine had sent me an sms message tonight to remind me. The full moon is very beautiful tonight.
When I stared at the full moon tonight from my apartment balcony, its reminded me again the full moon I saw in Rembau two weeks ago.
Someone I met unexpected in a friend’s house who was very ill due to his cancer. He passed away last Thursday. He appeared in my life and gave me a lesson of deeply appreciate and realize the meaning of compassion and about sufferings.
It was strange that I was actually making aspiration prayer at the first night when I arrived this friend’s house located at the country side and surrounded by trees. That night, the sky was so beautiful. The sky was full of shinning stars and I saw a star which was the one signified the wish fulfilling stars. Yet, some people says, this stars signified someone near to you will pass away., while I saw the star appeared. I deeply wish all sentient beings are able to be liberated from its root of sufferings and gain the cause of happiness. Especially the place am visiting now.
During this short period of my stay, this patient was so happy able to talk to us. As I could feel deep in his heart that he was not too ready facing death, even though he kept telling he will die soon. His inner fears of death caused him kept looking for people to talk in order to relief his inner deep home sick feelings. He drew a picture that showed his family and inner feeling of missing them.
In one point, he was actually fainted in front of me and another dharma sister when we were alone at home.
Out of panic and not knowing what we could do, as we were not the doctor nor the therapist.
So, we started the prayers for him. He kept telling us that he was very pain and going to die. In front of such sufferings, I couldn’t stop my tears when I did the prayers for him. The sufferings of sickness and death was right in front of me so vividly! I never able to be aside with my parents when they passed away. This patient was infect the first person I encountered vividly in front me. Witnessed a person who was full of deep paint, regret of not doing enough things in life, also innerly the heart still embodies all types of attachment feelings and emotions upon death near to him. All thoughts appeared within his mind and caused him felt more sufferings. Especially when we know that death was approaching us, yet we still have so much attachments and emotion clinging that cannot be let go.
Some of my friends who later knew that I and another dharma sister were actually stayed in the same room with him for hours making the prayers. They started to warn us about the spirits, debtors spirits of him or bad energy etc that will harm us because we tried to relief him. I was so shocked to hear this advise even they were actually concern about my wellbeing. Somehow, I knew from the moment I decided to do the prayer for him, my mind and heart will be filled with compassion. Even my health is not so good as well. But I trust the teaching of Buddha and my master.
There is no evils can harm someone whose heart and mind is rooted with pure compassion .
I deeply trust the power of compassion
And our prayers dedicated to liberate all sufferings sentient beings to be liberated from their roots of sufferings and gain happiness. So, I have done no harm to anyone. What fears shall I have? In front a helpless and deep sufferings sentient being that is going to die, do I need to feel fear?
Yes, maybe I will be infected by viruses or bacteria or etc of the sick person as people may claimed.
I laughed indeed. Am a relatively healthier person now, I can take the pain and sickness better than this patient who was actually has no more immune resistance to all infection. What shall I fear?
Many of us, especially Buddhists. We claim that we know the death is cannot be avoid and all of us will die a day anyway. We will also learn all types of practices in order to be better stage of mind to face death.
However, when a person who was so ill and going to die, we are so afraid. What we afraid infect not the virus, karmic debtors , spirits or evils. We actually have deep fears of facing death, and not wanting to witness it.
This vivid paints of death happening in front of us. Because it reminded us, a day, we will die the same way.
We will also face the deep inner suffering due to our dilluted confuse minds and souls that are still full of negative emotions, thoughts, angers, attachment and ignorance.
So, I told the dharma sister who was so kind together with me did the prayer for this patient.
“ To have deep faith on the power of impartial deep compassion, nothing and no evils can harm anyone whose heart and mind fill with deep compassion”
-especially in front of person who is going to die. His suffering shall remind us about the death and impermanence. Most important to always keep our hearts and minds to be compassion, be we are Buddhist or non Buddhist. A Buddhist who talk so much about compassion but yet being afraid to face the death and sick person, their hearts are actually more evils that any true evils and karmic debtors surrounding the sick patient.
I deeply thankful to this patient who had passed away last Thursday. He had given me and my friends a true dharma teachings and pointed directly to our minds and hearts. Some may think that we were so compassion that with no fears we dare to making prayers for him However, I think this patient was the real great one. He gave us the mirror to reflect the current nature of our minds and hearts.
9 July 2009